Figures I'd write that big long entry and then forget the important part.
The line that made me say, yeah, my brother would be a great pastor:
"You know, a lot of the trouble is that people feel that they have to be good, that if they don't toe the line exactly, then God will go, 'Oh, you said you were Christian but I know you aren't.' I don't think God is like that, I mean, He wouldn't have sent his Son if people could do that. And then people get into this whole thing of following the exact letter of the law, even when we don't know the details and context. If people wanted to be good, were kind and strove for goodness because it actually made them happy, it'd be easier. People would say 'You know, I don't think God will smite me for this, but it just doesn't feel right.' People would be... 'more better,' I guess, all around, but it would be better for their faith as well."
In unrelated news, I've found a dentist I don't mind going to, because he doesn't make me feel like an enormous personal failure for having cavities or for flinching when he pokes me with pointy implements. Unfortunately, I'll probably be moving within 6 months to a year.
29.7.08
28.7.08
God and Politics with my brother
I hung out with my brother this weekend, spending some 5 hours with him in my little car putting between where we live and work and where my parents live and work. We butt heads a lot -- mostly over my belief that he's a major closet case -- but at least I'm not beating the snot out of him anymore.
He spends his summers working at a Christian summer camp, which he really enjoys. I'm a little jealous, because in my mind it means he gets paid to go to camp each summer, and I *mostly* enjoyed summer camp the years I went. We talked about his campers, and the activities, and the difference between the summer camp I went to in Texas ("Yay, we're all at camp! ... and we're all Christian, neat!") and the camp I went to after our family moved ("Yay, we're all Christian.... and we're outdoors!"). The camp he's working at is toward the middle ground, probably enough to make me feel uncomfortable if I were attending, but not make me feel uncomfortable about the way they're teaching others.
It came around to the fact that his roommate where he's living next year is atheist (or he assumes so, all he knows is roommate does not plan to go to church), and, while he doesn't want to hide his faith, he doesn't want to drive his roommate away, either-- because he's actually done that before and he doesn't want to be "That Guy."
We talked a lot about faith-- because he's clearly fairly devout and I left the church at 14-- and I have to say that should he reconsider entering the seminary, I'd vouch for him (as much as a heathen's opinion would count). He's a shining example, so far, of a hymn I liked way back when, the chorus of which was "They will know we are Christians by our love, by our love."
We talked about a local street preacher, who rails against everyone and everything with such regularity that a friend made bingo cards to pass out and host a game with his sermon (Gays, faith, free square, marriage, prayer! BINGO!). Apparently, last time the preacher was out, Xavier sat out with a dry erase board to quickly scribble "Ask me about God," "Ask me about that submission thing" and so forth, because the street preacher's problem is "a lack of gentleness." He told me about how, the preacher will rail about women needing to submit to their husbands, and my brother will tell the people who ask that, in context, that Bible verse is followed with an exhortation that a man should be willing to do anything to protect and care for his wife, to love his wife as Christ loved the Church.
He said that when the preacher packed up for the day, some of the hecklers waved him over to ask him what he thought of the sermon. "Well, you know... I believe, we're all on the same team, but some people just kick the ball backwards sometimes."
We talked about politics-- actually, I said to him, "Xav, you're fairly intelligent," ("Thank you, C," he says) "but... not to say you're stupid, but you're part of a religion that tends to have unintelligent opinions on this. Abortion, gay marriage. Go."
He took gay marriage first, acknowledged that he did think of marriage as a religious thing and that, by religion, it's one man and one woman. We went back and forth a little, about a secular definition and a religious definition and whose business it is, and he says that the government should be allowed to grant "togetherness" to any two consenting adults who want to sign up (for semantic purposes, he was calling this a civil union, I was calling it a marriage). And, he continued, churches and synagogues and what have you can grant togetherness to any consenting adults they want (he says marriage, i say wedding-age). However, never the twain shall meet-- a religious ceremony should have no bearing on custody, taxes, insurance, etc. If you want to get the civil ceremony and nothing else, cool. If you want to get the civil ceremony and a religious one on top, well, hey, that's cool too. If you want to get the religious ceremony with no civil ceremony, that's your prerogative, but don't expect survivor's benefits from social security or to be acknowledged in any other official instance.
Ideally, I said, it would have been like this in the first place, and then you wouldn't have churches trying to claim that they're just trying to protect themselves from being sued when they won't let gay couples wed there. "Yep," he said, with a facial expression of "too bad someone fucked it up." (except that Xav doesn't swear.)
We moved on to abortion -- Xav being who he is and me having worked with pro-reproductive-rights special interest groups.
He's big on "adoption is an option too," but he realises that it's not *always* an option. Apparently the oral Torah included the specific instruction that, up to the point a baby was halfway out, its mother's life trumped it-- being a life in action rather than a potential life. So, if the medicine available at the time could save one or the other, mother won. So, abortion for health reasons, he says he has no reason to be against. I could maybe have gotten his more specific beliefs about when it is/isn't okay if i kept going, but we got sidetracked by birth control.
Birth control he's in support of. We talked about methods, about how they work, that Plan B will actually not stop a pregnancy if the zygote's implanted, which he was surprised (and happy) to learn-- he feels he can support it now. After that, we talked about when life begins -- because he doesn't really feel comfortable trying to figure that out with no medical education, and because I feel that it's stupid to declare it at conception when more than 2/3 of pregnancies miscarry before 6 weeks. I said "God doesn't seem to think life begins before then," he countered with a Bible verse stating that "I was sinful from when I was first conceived,"-- but he still doesn't see that as foolproof evidence of life-at-conception, because, while humanity makes you sinful, does sinfulness make you human?
We talked about abstinence-only sex education, about the statistic that teens wait on average 9 months longer than tradition sex-ed students-- but then they don't use protection, either because they were never told about it, or because they were told it was ineffective. (I didn't tell him about this comic ) He said the main problem is that home and school each rely on the other to fill in the blanks, and the blanks aren't getting filled.
Upshot of the car-ride home:
Abstinence is ideal, but talk with your kid about the what-ifs.
Birth control prevents abortions. You can't say every sperm or every egg is sacred when your body will waste them anyway.
A woman's life always trumps the life of an unborn child (in the medical sense, not in the "but i won't get to go partyyyyy" sense).
Religious weddings and government-recognised togetherness should not be the same thing.
Women, obey your husbands, but husbands, love your wives.
You can preach without being acerbic, and will in fact win more hearts with gentleness.
You can practise your faith without being overbearing, because scaring away a roommate is not good PR for your religion.
Can't guarantee I'd convert, but I'd go to a church my brother preached at.
--
Today's tidbit from work:
Coworker shows up late from her attempt to get court records. Apparently, "that twat at the courthouse" tells her that she needs case numbers. Coworker told her that she's always gotten them by name before, twat snottily responded "Well, we're about to close, and it'll take a long time to find them."
Coworker relating this: "I almost blew up on her, but then I thought, 'wait, no, Things Not to Do, blow up on someone in a courthouse.'"
He spends his summers working at a Christian summer camp, which he really enjoys. I'm a little jealous, because in my mind it means he gets paid to go to camp each summer, and I *mostly* enjoyed summer camp the years I went. We talked about his campers, and the activities, and the difference between the summer camp I went to in Texas ("Yay, we're all at camp! ... and we're all Christian, neat!") and the camp I went to after our family moved ("Yay, we're all Christian.... and we're outdoors!"). The camp he's working at is toward the middle ground, probably enough to make me feel uncomfortable if I were attending, but not make me feel uncomfortable about the way they're teaching others.
It came around to the fact that his roommate where he's living next year is atheist (or he assumes so, all he knows is roommate does not plan to go to church), and, while he doesn't want to hide his faith, he doesn't want to drive his roommate away, either-- because he's actually done that before and he doesn't want to be "That Guy."
We talked a lot about faith-- because he's clearly fairly devout and I left the church at 14-- and I have to say that should he reconsider entering the seminary, I'd vouch for him (as much as a heathen's opinion would count). He's a shining example, so far, of a hymn I liked way back when, the chorus of which was "They will know we are Christians by our love, by our love."
We talked about a local street preacher, who rails against everyone and everything with such regularity that a friend made bingo cards to pass out and host a game with his sermon (Gays, faith, free square, marriage, prayer! BINGO!). Apparently, last time the preacher was out, Xavier sat out with a dry erase board to quickly scribble "Ask me about God," "Ask me about that submission thing" and so forth, because the street preacher's problem is "a lack of gentleness." He told me about how, the preacher will rail about women needing to submit to their husbands, and my brother will tell the people who ask that, in context, that Bible verse is followed with an exhortation that a man should be willing to do anything to protect and care for his wife, to love his wife as Christ loved the Church.
He said that when the preacher packed up for the day, some of the hecklers waved him over to ask him what he thought of the sermon. "Well, you know... I believe, we're all on the same team, but some people just kick the ball backwards sometimes."
We talked about politics-- actually, I said to him, "Xav, you're fairly intelligent," ("Thank you, C," he says) "but... not to say you're stupid, but you're part of a religion that tends to have unintelligent opinions on this. Abortion, gay marriage. Go."
He took gay marriage first, acknowledged that he did think of marriage as a religious thing and that, by religion, it's one man and one woman. We went back and forth a little, about a secular definition and a religious definition and whose business it is, and he says that the government should be allowed to grant "togetherness" to any two consenting adults who want to sign up (for semantic purposes, he was calling this a civil union, I was calling it a marriage). And, he continued, churches and synagogues and what have you can grant togetherness to any consenting adults they want (he says marriage, i say wedding-age). However, never the twain shall meet-- a religious ceremony should have no bearing on custody, taxes, insurance, etc. If you want to get the civil ceremony and nothing else, cool. If you want to get the civil ceremony and a religious one on top, well, hey, that's cool too. If you want to get the religious ceremony with no civil ceremony, that's your prerogative, but don't expect survivor's benefits from social security or to be acknowledged in any other official instance.
Ideally, I said, it would have been like this in the first place, and then you wouldn't have churches trying to claim that they're just trying to protect themselves from being sued when they won't let gay couples wed there. "Yep," he said, with a facial expression of "too bad someone fucked it up." (except that Xav doesn't swear.)
We moved on to abortion -- Xav being who he is and me having worked with pro-reproductive-rights special interest groups.
He's big on "adoption is an option too," but he realises that it's not *always* an option. Apparently the oral Torah included the specific instruction that, up to the point a baby was halfway out, its mother's life trumped it-- being a life in action rather than a potential life. So, if the medicine available at the time could save one or the other, mother won. So, abortion for health reasons, he says he has no reason to be against. I could maybe have gotten his more specific beliefs about when it is/isn't okay if i kept going, but we got sidetracked by birth control.
Birth control he's in support of. We talked about methods, about how they work, that Plan B will actually not stop a pregnancy if the zygote's implanted, which he was surprised (and happy) to learn-- he feels he can support it now. After that, we talked about when life begins -- because he doesn't really feel comfortable trying to figure that out with no medical education, and because I feel that it's stupid to declare it at conception when more than 2/3 of pregnancies miscarry before 6 weeks. I said "God doesn't seem to think life begins before then," he countered with a Bible verse stating that "I was sinful from when I was first conceived,"-- but he still doesn't see that as foolproof evidence of life-at-conception, because, while humanity makes you sinful, does sinfulness make you human?
We talked about abstinence-only sex education, about the statistic that teens wait on average 9 months longer than tradition sex-ed students-- but then they don't use protection, either because they were never told about it, or because they were told it was ineffective. (I didn't tell him about this comic ) He said the main problem is that home and school each rely on the other to fill in the blanks, and the blanks aren't getting filled.
Upshot of the car-ride home:
Abstinence is ideal, but talk with your kid about the what-ifs.
Birth control prevents abortions. You can't say every sperm or every egg is sacred when your body will waste them anyway.
A woman's life always trumps the life of an unborn child (in the medical sense, not in the "but i won't get to go partyyyyy" sense).
Religious weddings and government-recognised togetherness should not be the same thing.
Women, obey your husbands, but husbands, love your wives.
You can preach without being acerbic, and will in fact win more hearts with gentleness.
You can practise your faith without being overbearing, because scaring away a roommate is not good PR for your religion.
Can't guarantee I'd convert, but I'd go to a church my brother preached at.
--
Today's tidbit from work:
Coworker shows up late from her attempt to get court records. Apparently, "that twat at the courthouse" tells her that she needs case numbers. Coworker told her that she's always gotten them by name before, twat snottily responded "Well, we're about to close, and it'll take a long time to find them."
Coworker relating this: "I almost blew up on her, but then I thought, 'wait, no, Things Not to Do, blow up on someone in a courthouse.'"
19.7.08
How not to ensure job security.
Case study:
There are two companies. Company A is smaller, pays a little less, but is willing to train if you're willing to learn. Company B is larger, pays more, but demands that you have experience up front. Company A is kindof family-like, there's a lot of company picnic type events, a lot of couples work there where one started and encouraged the other to apply. Company B, well, at least one person has gone from Company A to Company B and returned, saying they were "a bunch of cocks."
Recently, however, three employees have gone to Company B, looking for the higher pay and more experience company B offers. Company A wishes them well, but around the office it's kindof taken as fact that these people never planned to stay with A, just used A for the experience and ran, or value the pay over the friendship.
(Someone has also recently applied with company C, which has even higher pay, fewer cocks, requires even more experience, was turned down, but is now on "probation" within company A.)
You, an employee, are kindof intrigued by what Company B offers. You apply, and over the water cooler mention that, oh, B's person in your department likes your stuff, she gave a few suggestions.
"Uh," says another employee, "Why is B's person in your department looking at your stuff? Did you apply there?"
"Well, yeah," you say.
Obviously, this gets to your boss. You are not allowed to take shifts until your application there is denied, at which point you, also, are on "probation," meaning you get the assignments when no-one else in your department can come, because why should we give you the work/training when you've shown a desire to jump ship?
What a fucking dumbass.
There are two companies. Company A is smaller, pays a little less, but is willing to train if you're willing to learn. Company B is larger, pays more, but demands that you have experience up front. Company A is kindof family-like, there's a lot of company picnic type events, a lot of couples work there where one started and encouraged the other to apply. Company B, well, at least one person has gone from Company A to Company B and returned, saying they were "a bunch of cocks."
Recently, however, three employees have gone to Company B, looking for the higher pay and more experience company B offers. Company A wishes them well, but around the office it's kindof taken as fact that these people never planned to stay with A, just used A for the experience and ran, or value the pay over the friendship.
(Someone has also recently applied with company C, which has even higher pay, fewer cocks, requires even more experience, was turned down, but is now on "probation" within company A.)
You, an employee, are kindof intrigued by what Company B offers. You apply, and over the water cooler mention that, oh, B's person in your department likes your stuff, she gave a few suggestions.
"Uh," says another employee, "Why is B's person in your department looking at your stuff? Did you apply there?"
"Well, yeah," you say.
Obviously, this gets to your boss. You are not allowed to take shifts until your application there is denied, at which point you, also, are on "probation," meaning you get the assignments when no-one else in your department can come, because why should we give you the work/training when you've shown a desire to jump ship?
What a fucking dumbass.
13.7.08
On the other hand...
The flip side of getting good service is being a good customer. It baffles me how people expect that yelling and screaming and claiming "the customer is always right" will somehow net them better service.
You're paying someone to do something for you, that either you can't (neuter your dog, tile your floor, make really fantastic food) or you don't want to (clean your house, make mediocre food).
Why should they serve you if you're not worth the money?
One McDonalds I worked at twice banned customers from its store and many more times told the customers that, if they abused the employees, they were not welcome there. In turn, the employees were fairly chipper, because we knew we weren't going to lose our job when someone's fish sandwich meal came to 4.01 and she started screaming at us that she didn't need to pay a penny.
Because, you know what? Your 4.01 doesn't pay for an hour of work, so why should the management cater to *you,* instead of siding with the employees who keep the not-crazy, full-price-paying customers coming back?
I play World of Warcraft, I have characters that can craft things in demand by the general player base. I'll cut you a break if you're polite, such as offering to come to you or throw in some of the materials myself. If you're a thorn in my side, I reserve the right to charge a "crafting fee" when I otherwise don't.
In my real world jobs, if you're nice, I will work with you to get the results you want. If you're a dick to me or my staff, you're going to get a hack job. Hey, I offered to work with you, you're the one who declared that it was fine the way it was. It's not fine, and I have to make it meet my boss's specifications, not yours. Your specifications are last in the equation, especially when you're unwilling to tell me what they are.
And, wouldn't you know it, friends and family in the service industry say the same thing. Be nice, get your cable hookup fee waived. Be a dick, don't. Be nice, and a few magic button pushes get you the best cell phone plan that they don't advertise. Be a dick, and you can pay 25c per text message for the next two years.
I realise I'm beating a dead horse here, that this has been said all over the internet and this is just one more post in the tubes. But surely, these asshats who demand that I check a price for them when they're standing 20 feet away from where to check it (and I'm somewhere else entirely), or say that something is wrong but refuse to suggest why or how or even what they'd like it to be, or threaten to pee in the pool if the lifeguard takes her kids out for adult swim, surely some of them must have access to computers and the web.
I'm sure they do, because they somehow access websites where they complain about the "bad service" they get, that they bring in the dead hamster and the pet store won't replace it because they bought it two years ago even when she threatened to sue them because her little girl was traumatised.
I.. I can't even think of a proper way to end this. Teaspoon of honey, people.
*headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*
You're paying someone to do something for you, that either you can't (neuter your dog, tile your floor, make really fantastic food) or you don't want to (clean your house, make mediocre food).
Why should they serve you if you're not worth the money?
One McDonalds I worked at twice banned customers from its store and many more times told the customers that, if they abused the employees, they were not welcome there. In turn, the employees were fairly chipper, because we knew we weren't going to lose our job when someone's fish sandwich meal came to 4.01 and she started screaming at us that she didn't need to pay a penny.
Because, you know what? Your 4.01 doesn't pay for an hour of work, so why should the management cater to *you,* instead of siding with the employees who keep the not-crazy, full-price-paying customers coming back?
I play World of Warcraft, I have characters that can craft things in demand by the general player base. I'll cut you a break if you're polite, such as offering to come to you or throw in some of the materials myself. If you're a thorn in my side, I reserve the right to charge a "crafting fee" when I otherwise don't.
In my real world jobs, if you're nice, I will work with you to get the results you want. If you're a dick to me or my staff, you're going to get a hack job. Hey, I offered to work with you, you're the one who declared that it was fine the way it was. It's not fine, and I have to make it meet my boss's specifications, not yours. Your specifications are last in the equation, especially when you're unwilling to tell me what they are.
And, wouldn't you know it, friends and family in the service industry say the same thing. Be nice, get your cable hookup fee waived. Be a dick, don't. Be nice, and a few magic button pushes get you the best cell phone plan that they don't advertise. Be a dick, and you can pay 25c per text message for the next two years.
I realise I'm beating a dead horse here, that this has been said all over the internet and this is just one more post in the tubes. But surely, these asshats who demand that I check a price for them when they're standing 20 feet away from where to check it (and I'm somewhere else entirely), or say that something is wrong but refuse to suggest why or how or even what they'd like it to be, or threaten to pee in the pool if the lifeguard takes her kids out for adult swim, surely some of them must have access to computers and the web.
I'm sure they do, because they somehow access websites where they complain about the "bad service" they get, that they bring in the dead hamster and the pet store won't replace it because they bought it two years ago even when she threatened to sue them because her little girl was traumatised.
I.. I can't even think of a proper way to end this. Teaspoon of honey, people.
*headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*
7.7.08
Please call back during business hours...
I've been trying to call my dentist most of the morning. It has mostly been busy, although there have been a few times I've gotten through to the machine, which gives a recorded listing of the office's hours and suggests that I call back during regular business hours.
The hours they list in the message claim they're open while I'm calling.
Doc, I want to give you my business,(Actually, no, I don't, I'd rather that I don't have to see you at all, but since that's not an option and you're the only dentist in a 30 mile radius who takes my insurance...) but you're not making it easy on me.
You'd think they'd try to make the phone call the easiest part of paying someone to do horrible things to your mouth, but I guess not.
I'm sure this isn't deliberate on their part, but it's still less than stellar. I worked at McDonalds, bastion of ridicule as a job for lazy slackers who don't care about giving you service, and we still were required to answer the phone before the third ring.
---
Story of the day, from a coworker:
"Okay, I'm really scatterbrained today, and I'm going to preface that... preface this, with that fact. This morning, I lost my keys, and my shoes, and and the cheese I was making breakfast with. I got the cheese out, then I couldn't find it and I said, okay, I'll eat later. So I went to grab my shoes, and they weren't there, and then I look at my key rack, and no keys.
I'm sitting down, with some coffee and a cigarette, saying "Okay, this is fucking lame" when [Husband] comes up and asks me why there's cheese in the closet.
Keys in the butter dish, shoes in the freezer, cheese in the closet."
The hours they list in the message claim they're open while I'm calling.
Doc, I want to give you my business,(Actually, no, I don't, I'd rather that I don't have to see you at all, but since that's not an option and you're the only dentist in a 30 mile radius who takes my insurance...) but you're not making it easy on me.
You'd think they'd try to make the phone call the easiest part of paying someone to do horrible things to your mouth, but I guess not.
I'm sure this isn't deliberate on their part, but it's still less than stellar. I worked at McDonalds, bastion of ridicule as a job for lazy slackers who don't care about giving you service, and we still were required to answer the phone before the third ring.
---
Story of the day, from a coworker:
"Okay, I'm really scatterbrained today, and I'm going to preface that... preface this, with that fact. This morning, I lost my keys, and my shoes, and and the cheese I was making breakfast with. I got the cheese out, then I couldn't find it and I said, okay, I'll eat later. So I went to grab my shoes, and they weren't there, and then I look at my key rack, and no keys.
I'm sitting down, with some coffee and a cigarette, saying "Okay, this is fucking lame" when [Husband] comes up and asks me why there's cheese in the closet.
Keys in the butter dish, shoes in the freezer, cheese in the closet."
4.7.08
Fireworks.
Two summers ago, I worked for a special interest group and part of my job was to read several newspapers to see if there were any articles or letters to the editor relating to our issue. At one of the papers, someone had sent in a LTE asking whether the annual fireworks show could be moved, because it woke her baby and it probably scared children and dogs as well.
While there were a few reasonable responses like "Well, there are children and dogs wherever it would be moved to, too," and "Calm down, folks, she wanted it moved, not cancelled," most of the responses were in the vein of "Honour our troops, you hate America, terrorists have won."
Fourth of July that same summer, I was in my apartment playing World of Warcraft. Very few people were online in my guild, understandably, and people were trickling out to go watch fireworks. Eventually, it was only me and DJ. I made some offhand comment about the local fireworks, and he responded that he was not going to his own local show.
Because, he said, he'd only gotten back from Iraq about two months ago. They still sounded like bombs and mortars.
Let that sink in. A soldier wouldn't/couldn't go to the show that was ostensibly for him and his comrades and those before him, because it sounded too much like where he'd been.
Enjoy your fireworks. Maybe someday tradition will dictate donating several hundred dollars (the cost of my local fireworks show, your funding my vary) to veteran's charities for Independence Day.
As for DJ, he was re-deployed last spring. He hasn't logged in since. I can only hope that it's because he quit the game. It'd be happier than any other reason.
While there were a few reasonable responses like "Well, there are children and dogs wherever it would be moved to, too," and "Calm down, folks, she wanted it moved, not cancelled," most of the responses were in the vein of "Honour our troops, you hate America, terrorists have won."
Fourth of July that same summer, I was in my apartment playing World of Warcraft. Very few people were online in my guild, understandably, and people were trickling out to go watch fireworks. Eventually, it was only me and DJ. I made some offhand comment about the local fireworks, and he responded that he was not going to his own local show.
Because, he said, he'd only gotten back from Iraq about two months ago. They still sounded like bombs and mortars.
Let that sink in. A soldier wouldn't/couldn't go to the show that was ostensibly for him and his comrades and those before him, because it sounded too much like where he'd been.
Enjoy your fireworks. Maybe someday tradition will dictate donating several hundred dollars (the cost of my local fireworks show, your funding my vary) to veteran's charities for Independence Day.
As for DJ, he was re-deployed last spring. He hasn't logged in since. I can only hope that it's because he quit the game. It'd be happier than any other reason.
2.7.08
Being a mooch.
I wrote a check to my boyfriend last night. I've been living with him about a month now, between leases. He's never asked me for rent, utilities or grocery money, probably because he knows that my job pays peanuts and I have pretty much no savings. (And he makes considerably more than I do.)
When we started dating, I didn't even like him buying my movie tickets. I paid for dinner at least some of the time. I did a little modeling, I had the money. However, some months later, I had some new expenses and no modeling. I got a part-time job, but there was a point waiting for my first pay check when I totalled up what I had, and counted the days on the calendar, and if my milk didn't go bad and if I made two meals out of every package of instant noodles, I would still run out of food three days before my first pay check. He never said anything about it, but he took me out to dinner more often, made me dinner at his place and sent me home with the leftovers, and took me to eat with his parents -- extending my inadequate food supply until I got paid.
I was grateful, still am grateful, I just hate feeling like a goddamn mooch. A lot of my family are the types to never pay back money, and while I do believe if you lend someone $20 and never see him/her again, it's money well spent, it's shameful to be that person. I hate being that person.
I started a new job yesterday, one that pays in real money instead of "valuable experience." I'm hoping I'll be able to pad my savings, but I also hope to start paying a little rent — chipping in even though I can't pay a fair share.
Student loans, on the other hand, do require to be paid in full, and it's more stressful than shameful when you have difficulties with that.
When we started dating, I didn't even like him buying my movie tickets. I paid for dinner at least some of the time. I did a little modeling, I had the money. However, some months later, I had some new expenses and no modeling. I got a part-time job, but there was a point waiting for my first pay check when I totalled up what I had, and counted the days on the calendar, and if my milk didn't go bad and if I made two meals out of every package of instant noodles, I would still run out of food three days before my first pay check. He never said anything about it, but he took me out to dinner more often, made me dinner at his place and sent me home with the leftovers, and took me to eat with his parents -- extending my inadequate food supply until I got paid.
I was grateful, still am grateful, I just hate feeling like a goddamn mooch. A lot of my family are the types to never pay back money, and while I do believe if you lend someone $20 and never see him/her again, it's money well spent, it's shameful to be that person. I hate being that person.
I started a new job yesterday, one that pays in real money instead of "valuable experience." I'm hoping I'll be able to pad my savings, but I also hope to start paying a little rent — chipping in even though I can't pay a fair share.
Student loans, on the other hand, do require to be paid in full, and it's more stressful than shameful when you have difficulties with that.
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