30.6.08

Drunken office dumbasses.

I work in an office full of 20-somethings. One of them is turning 21 today, and she and another were joking about their plans to go out and get drunk tonight. Forget designated drivers, he said -- get a babysitter.
"I told (so-and-so) she was my babysitter," he said. Imagine this in your best "hur hur hur" voice, because he really does sound like that. "I said, 'You get to drive me around, and you get to make sure I don't get arrested.'" Hur hur hur.
She countered with how she plans to have her room set up with a clear path to the bathroom and a trash can by her bed in preparation for getting "totally wasted," and the conversation turned to which bars are lax on ID enforcement for the sake of her under-21 friends.

Now, I drank underage. My junior year of college, I had "drinking buddies." Everyone would chip in a few dollars or a bottle of whatever was on hand, and we'd sit, talk, flirt, and try to mix drinks with our limited supplies. Getting drunk was never the aim, and, big surprise, we never had any tragic accidents, vomit-soaked clothes or shameful morning afters. My "peak" was having to put one hand on the hallway wall for stability as I walked to the bathroom; others drank more but never to trouble. No-one ever got arrested or even drew the attention of the RAs.

I still drink now. There's a bar nearby that serves Long Islands in carafes. I bought ice cube trays because Baileys is that much better with ice. I still don't get drunk.

I said something in a high school class about trying a regional wine on a trip to Europe to see family, and all the little dumbshits who got suspended for keg parties started saying "OO-ooo-OOH, C got DRUNK." No, no I didn't. This is an American thing, drinking to get drunk (and thinking everyone else drinks this way), and I say this because in bars in Europe, it was the Americans wanting to buy me a drink and expressing shock that I might be waiting a bit after the last one. My sister, living there, agreed. It's always the American men who offer to buy you a drink and get indignant when you don't want alcohol right now, she said. The local guys are happy to buy you a water or some juice and chat you up.

Maybe because we spent time in Europe, maybe because my parents never hid the little alcohol they drank, drinking never seemed like some great taboo to me. Turning 21 and drinking yourself sick-- what are you, 7? Did Mommy say you couldn't have a whole cookie because you were little, and you had to eat the whole box to prove her wrong? Good job, dumbass, you deserve the way your head feels right now.

My second college roommate told me that her parents sat her down a few weeks before the headed to college, with the intent of having her get drunk(drunk as in "don't feel so good," not drunk as in "vomit on our couch") so that she would know exactly what her limit was and be able to stop before then. Good idea, if your kid will take the information and use it for good, not evil.

Some states are looking at lowering the drinking age, usually for those in the military. If I recall correctly, they might have to take a class, too. I'm hoping this will lead to a gradual attitude shift to "Oh, there's beer? Um, not right now, thanks," instead of it leading to younger people drinking themselves into a stupor or god forbid it being used as a military recruiting tool (Join us, get smashed!).

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Grammar of the day: Parallel structure
I saw a flyer about a horse for sale; the owner didn't have enough time to take her energetic horse out for frequent rides. The end of the flyer talked about cost and mentioned "would be willing to trade for laid-back horse willing to graze in pasture but be taken out by children or non-horsey husband to be ridden occasionally."
My first read of this: Who trades a horse for a husband, and what was her last husband, that it's necessary she specify that she wants a non-horsey one?
"non-horsey husband" should probably be parallel with "children," as in "by children or by non-horsey husband."
Or, it could read "for a laid-back horse," leaving the husband still not parallel with the children but at least not parallel to the horse.
I could be wrong. Maybe she's begging for someone to give her a more normal home life with no horses in the bedroom.

I'm out.
-C